Five Minute Freak Out

OK, so I know I’ve got quite a while to go until THE day (one year, 8 months and 12 days to be precise – and can I just point out that I only know that thanks to my free wedding countdown app on my iPhone), but I’m seriously freaking out about my dress.  I spend far too long gazing through bridal gown shop windows, thumbing through magazines and searching the minefield also known as the internet, to try and pick out what will suit me and my style.  I STILL have no idea.  I have friends who are or who have already been married and are showing me their pictures and every time I see their dress, or any dress for that matter, I find myself saying “yeah, I think I’ll get something just like that”.  I reckon that for the amount of times I’ve done that, I’d have in the region of 892 dresses by now.   How the heck am I meant to know where to start? 

If you’ve not realised by now that this is one of my slight Bridezilla/rant/freak out/stress posts, consider yourself told or warned.  Whichever is most appropriate.

I’ve been told that when I find The One, I’ll just know.  But what if it doesn’t happen?  I can never settle for one.  Of anything.  Cakes, cocktails, chocolate bars (and not those puny little bars either.  The big family size ones – easily demolished in one sitting).  Take for example, my new shoe website I found and kindly told you about a few posts back – Chockers Shoes.  Mr S said he’d treat me to some seeing as though I put up with his constant need to go fishing every weekend.  I found 4 pairs.  Narrowed it down to 2.  Then 3.  Then 2 again.  I can’t pick just one pair.  “Just pick one and have done with it” he said.  “But I can’t.  Can I not just have them both?”  If there was ever a look of ‘you’re pushing it beyond belief’, I think that was the one he gave me.  Now I have no shoes. 

Anyway, I digress to share personal sadness.  Back to the dress saga.  I’ve looked on websites that tell you what dress style to wear for your shape and what’s on the catwalk, but to be honest, as long as I like it, I don’t care if it’s from a season of 10 years ago or if it’s designer or not.  I quite want to feel like a princess, but not in a little girl kind of way.  Would a meringue be too much?  My mum, teamed with one of her best friends commented that they saw me in a sleek, figure hugging, elegant number.  I don’t.  All I know is that I don’t want any kind of material that ‘shines’ and I don’t want a veil, unless it’s below my elbows or longer.  And even then, I’m not overly keen.  But would I not look bride-like if I just had decorative pins in my hair?  Oh, and I definitely, definitely don’t want a tiara.  That is one thing I can guarantee will not be on my person on my day. 

'Meringue' style c/o www.florasdresses.com

Sleek, elegant dress c/o www.johanna-hehir.com

Or something in between? c/o www.londonweddingdresses.com

So you see a little bit of my problem?  I’m too indecisive.  If budget allowed, I’d be all celeb-like and have about 10 different dress changes throughout the day.  That would solve this problem at least.  Then I’ll have to choose my wedding shoes (*look-of-fear-equating-in-crinkled-forehead*). 

That’s a whole other post.  Till next time....

Venue Hunting - The Pros and Cons

So, two months after the engagement and we still haven’t decided on a venue. It was almost a done deal last night but we thought it would be better to ask the opinions of our nearest and dearest – bad idea.  This has now resulted in us going to look at a brand new venue (after previously visiting the 4 that we shortlisted) to see if it can beat the two that we narrowed it down to. I must admit that I feel very disappointed and fed up with the whole thing now but I’m going to go with an open mind because the fiancé wants to look, it's not just my day and, it may just be a hidden gem that will blow the other 2 out of the water (wishful thinking maybe?).

I’ve now got to the stage where I have said “we’ll get married in the church and then that’s it. No wedding breakfast and no evening reception either”. Drastic maybe but personally, I think a lot of people forget the whole idea of the day. It’s meant to be about the two of you getting married, not having a party for everyone else. So my advice is to prioritise; do you want to spend a big amount of money on one day for everyone else, or compromise and settle for maybe a more intimate affair with less guests, or alternatively, more guests but at a less expensive cost. Do you have the opinion that as it’s your one special day, it would be appropriate to spend a great whack of your hard earned wages? I was of that opinion, but then, after all the planning, excitement and the end of the honeymoon comes round, and you’re both back home watching tv in the rain, could you face the thought of what you could have bought for that amount of money for your new life as a married couple?

My dream venue is coming in at about 10% more expensive than my second choice. My dream venue will only cater for 55 guests maximum. My second choice will cater for 80. Our guest list is 57. My dream venue has no onsite accommodation for us or our guests but has hotels and B&Bs a mile or so up the road. My second choice has an onsite hotel. Saying this, we would like to go on honeymoon the next day so would having somewhere to stay over to have breakfast with family in the morning really be necessary?

I am a Bride on a Budget.  Therefore, I know that if I want my dream venue, I'll have to compromise on other things to save costs.  So what if my dress may not be designer?  I can guarantee nobody will be routing around the back of my dress to try and take a look at my label.  One of my favourite things to do is bake.  I can easily bake my own cake but just pay for somebody to ice the design for me.  See, when needs must, with a little bit of brainstorming and although you may not think it at first, there are ways around paying "wedding prices".

By "wedding prices", I mean the companies who see you coming a mile off when looking for a quote.  Ring around venues, cake designers etc and ask them for a quote.  Never ever book anything there and then (like I was prepared to).  Sleep on your decision, and if you're patient enough, like me, you'll get over your initial excitement and think about your options rationally.  Then go back to your shortlisted suppliers and try to negotiate on their price.  If they aren't prepared to listen, they don't deserve your custom or your money.

I think that sums up this section.  Wait.  Be rational.  Think things through.  Learn to negotiate and don't panic.....it'll get booked when the time is right.  If your first choice is still available on the date you want it a month or two after your first enquiry, it's obviously meant to be!