Take a Pew...

The Reverend Boadicea Geraldine Granger
*The Vicar of Dibley will not be marrying
us unfortunately!

Mr S and I went to visit our vicar who will be marrying us for an 'informal discussion'.  We had been corresponding by phone and email much to my delight, as I am so very impatient and an email sometimes is quicker to respond to.  I feel that I must stress here that I was indeed very proper in the first instant when I hand wrote a letter to the Reverend Emm but in return I received a telephone call asking for emails in future.  Who doesn't love a good, old fashioned letter?  Well I do so insist today's society grasp this tradition once again and get writing.  Not only that but I am yet to hear of somebody who doesn't get that pang of excitement when a handwritten envelope gets posted through their letterbox.  Just me?  Come on!  Especially in a world where post is mostly bills, junk, more bills, political garbage and more junk.

Bridezillas, Please Take Note!

In light of recent events, (those of you on Twitter may already be accustomed to my woes) I thought it may be appropriate to write a Jerry Springer ‘Last Word’ kind of post.

You see, weddings are THE occasion that celebrates the love and devotion between two people who are happy to commit and spend the rest of their lives together.  Naturally, the two people will want their nearest and dearest to witness their commitment to each other when they express their vows to one another, be it, in the eyes of God or during a civil ceremony.

Traditionally, this is all that happened at a wedding.  It was once enough for two people in love to ask their friends and families to come together for one day to celebrate, be happy for the couple involved and cease the opportunity for the families to unite. 

These were the times before us, the times when a bride wore white because she actually deserved to and the husband traditionally carried their new wife over the threshold.  Heck, if you actually lived with your spouse prior to marriage then you had a quiet wedding and no fanfare at all! The big shindig, booze up and frolics on the hen and stag all came about at a later date (of which, I think we can all agree, are pleased about).

My point is, your wedding day is truly about getting married to the man (or woman) that you love and have willingly vowed to spend your life with.  Please don’t allow yourself, your sister, daughter, mum, cousin, aunt or whoever it is you know that is getting to be a bit of a Bridezilla, to think that the highlight and most important part of the day will be something which in essence, is a bit trivial in the cold light of day; the seating arrangements, the food choice, whether the cake has 2 tiers or 10, or the entertainment for your guests.  In fairness, your guests will be happy for you with whatever you choose and appreciate the fact that you have invited them to attend, witness and celebrate with you on one of the most special days of both of your lives.  

Getting over-emotional at the fact your cousin’s, best friend’s auntie had the same band as you is, to me, pretty bloody stupid.  So what if your next door neighbour wants the same colour scheme as what you’ve planned?  Who cares (apart from maybe you) that your invitations resemble the tiniest bit to the one you’ve just received for your other half’s sister’s friends wedding?

Another thing I think is key; don't be in competition with somebody else you know who is planning their day.  That is exactly what is it.  Their day.  Yours is completely separate and where the phrase "different strokes for different folks" is extremely important to remember. 

Your friend may love the idea of having a carnival or circus themed wedding, filled with fun and featuring bright colours and things to entertain in every direction you look.  This, on the other hand, may be your idea of hell.  And vice versa.  Do you see my point yet?  Do you? 

I'm not trying to put a dampner on anyone's day (honestly, I'm not).  It is, afterall, one of, if not THE most important day of your lives.  It's just that after going through this scenario over the last couple of weeks, with it heightening in the last few days, I've pondered over what is the meaning of marriage and how scarily huge the wedding industry is and how we can all get sucked in to thinking, what fundamentally is a jolly good knees up, is the most significant part of the day.  It isn't.

Please just take a step back from the Wedding Bubble you have surrounded yourself in for the past few months.  Remember that life is still carrying on as normal and will continue to do so after the event.  Most importantly, remember that this day is about you and your partner, standing in front of each other and your loved ones (who will continue to love both of you no matter what centrepiece you’ve chosen), to hear you vow to love and to cherish, from this day forward.

Love is all you need.

The Engagement

My first blog. Where to start? I'm a twenty something, down to earth, usually chilled out kind of girl. I say usually as that is how I used to be. You know, before the lovely boyfriend decided I was The One and whisked me away to the Lake District to propose. It was perfect. He'd asked permission of both my parents, took both mums with him to pick the ring, then rented out a little wooden rowboat on Lake Windermere and managed to even get down on one knee (albeit very carefully) in said boat to produce an even moreso perfect ring so shiny and sparkly which also fitted perfectly , on the only perfectly warm, sunny day of our trip. Not forgetting that this was followed by a posh meal, room upgrade and complimentary champagne from the hotel we were staying at (thank you to The Waterhead Hotel, Ambleside for their hospitality - would definitely recommend it).

I would have put money on it that I wouldn't have cried when he popped the question but I did. Twice. For the rest of the weekend, I was floating on air, as I should think, all those that have been in a similar situation to me, do.

It's nearly 2 months since we've been engaged now. Just to warn you, if you've just recently become engaged, the next few months will be very overwhelming. I had no idea. And, like I said, I usually describe myself as being quite laid back and chilled out, but I'm really fighting the urge to be Bridezilla.

We've set a date for the wedding. It's just under 2 years from now and since day one, all I've said I wanted sorting is the church, venue and photographer. I am a bit of a freak for liking things organised and in lists. I remember saying "once I have those sorted, I'll not mention the wedding again until after Christmas" (we're now in June). I've already bought mirrors for my centrepieces to stand on, table gems, table trivia and my favours. Ok, ok, I got a bit carried away with the excitement but I'm over it now.

I've trawled the internet and magazines for hours to look for potential venues, booked to go see them, narrowed them down to a shorter short-list and are trying to choose between 2. Our vicar inconveniently(!) decided to go on holiday for 2 weeks before giving me a decision on whether our date was available to him and when I'd managed to get hold of the church warden, she told me that as it was nearly 2 years away there was "no rush". Our venue's wedding coordinators didn't seem to appreciate that answer either.....