Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog. I suppose you could call it the 'Bridget Jones' Diary' (for the wedding industry); I've created it really as a way for me to vent about my upcoming nuptials without boring my nearest and dearest about things that, well, just aren't that important to them but are all I seem to think about now I'm a fully fledged member of the Engagement Club.

Friday, 21 September 2012

Long time no speak! On a serious note...

Hello, long time no speak!

I felt compelled to write a little post just now to clarify a little something that has been playing on my mind and that I'd like to stress.

Just recently, I noted somebody having a bit of a rant about bloggers "not keeping themselves up to date".  By this, I assumed that they meant that they were unimpressed with the amount of posts that that particular blogger actually blogged.  Pretty much like me I suppose.  However, I want to clarify the difference which is that I'm not a blogger that has created (if you will) a virtual style diary, to promote myself, any products or services and I certainly don't benefit from financial gain from advertisers.  The sole purpose I started this blog was to give myself a place that as a very excitable bride to be, I could rant, argue, put my points across, praise and be excited without boring to death my friends and family who understandably tend not to be as eager to talk about weddings 20 out of the 24 hours in a day.  A diary.  My diary.  I only want people to read it if they want to and not for any other reason.
It's a Hard Life Being Loved is all about me and my transition of being a newly engaged bride to be to that moment when I become a Mrs.  So when I don't write for a month, it's purely because I've not had much exciting happening in that month or even if something has happened, you lot probably won't want to read about it.  Can you imagine me tweeting to my followers to read my new post beginning;

"Hi there, I thought I'd tell you about how I got in touch with my vicar today and I'm waiting for him to get back to me now".

It'd be pretty boring reading.  Much like my ramblings are becoming now....

Anyway, now that I've got that all over with.  A quick update; I've managed to find and order my bridesmaids' dresses.  It has been a challenge to try and find a dress that both girls like but we eventually settled on one from Priddi.  It does take 12 weeks for them to be made but I'm looking forward to giving them to both the girls.   We've also now nearly paid everything off with just a few bits here and there so I'm super-pleased with how ahead of schedule we are.

In other news, I've actually been preoccupied with getting my health seen to.  I'm currently resting from an operation I had at the beginning of the week.  

I noticed a few weeks ago I had a mark on the inside of my bra.  Over the next couple of weeks I monitored it and it certainly wasn't clearing up so I left the house one morning and headed for my doctor's surgery.  

Image courtesy of feelyourboobies.com
Now, I am a regular self-checker due to my family history of breast cancer and the amount of advertisement and promotion that survivors and the NHS and various others have done to raise awareness.  However, I couldn't feel anything different and neither could my GP so she asked me to have some blood tests done.  

A hospital visit and phone call to check on the results later and it was confirmed that my blood tests were normal.  What I found worrying was the persistence on my part to my GP to see what we should do next due to my symptoms still being very much present.  It took maybe just over a week of phone calls to my GP to chase it up and then me having to "leave it with her as she wasn't sure what she should do next" before I got referred to The Pink Rose Suite at Grimsby, Diana Princess of Wales hospital.  

After seeing the consultant (6 days after I was referred no less), he also confirmed that he couldn't feel anything abnormal and for the majority of girls my age it was perfectly normal but that he would do some ultrasound scans because I was in the "moderate risk" category (due to my family history).  So I made my way back into the waiting room, weight lifted and sent a text to Mr S explaining everything was fine.

I laid down on the bed in the ultrasound room and was having a chat with the nurse who was explaining what everything was on the screen.  I sometimes think I'm too nosey for my own good but I strongly maintain that I'm just on a quest to enrich my brainbox.  Anyway, I digress.  As I carried on looking, I noticed a dark circular shape appear on screen and I knew something wasn't quite right.  The next thing I know, the ultrasound nurse had come back along with 3 other nurses and the consultant all suiting up ready to take a biopsy.  

I had gone on my own to this appointment.  I wish I had taken somebody with me instead of trying to be brave but shocked and with tear stained cheeks I drove back to work, then instantly got sent home.

I was due to attend the hospital a week later to obtain the results of the biopsy.  Now, here, I must explain that I'm such a person who doesn't think about bad things or scary things or nerve-racking things until the very minute I come up against it.  Especially in this instance, when absolutely everyone, including the consultant said the words "you're only 26, you'll be fine".  So, true to form, I thought "yeah, I will be, no doubt about it" and completely, utterly and wholly convinced myself that I would be, doing my typical nothing-bad-will-happen-if-you-don't-think-about-it routine.

So when I found myself sat opposite the consultant with him saying something along the lines of, "we've found a lump.  It's non cancerous but because of your family history we need to remove it just in case.  How'd you feel about that?", I couldn't quite decide.  Of course I was mortified but at the same time I had to remember and remind myself that the news could have been a whole lot worse.

I've just had my operation and I'm in quite a bit of pain.  My legs still feel weak and I've got headache and feel sick and dizzy every so often and my bruising is starting to come out.  The doctor permitted me to take my dressing off today and I won't lie, it's worse than I thought and yes, I cried.  

But after all is said and done, I am wholeheartedly grateful and lucky that the lump was caught before it could have turned into something more serious and that it's all been dealt with in the space of around 7 weeks.  Those 7 weeks have been very emotional and I can sympathise with those women (and men) who go through worse than what I've experienced.  Women like my two aunties and colleagues I used to and work with now.  How very brave and courageous these women are and continue to be.  

I want to say a huge thank you to all the team in the Pink Rose Suite and the B1 team at Grimsby, Diana Princess of Wales Hospital.

If you have any questions about breast cancer, self checking or worries please visit Breast Cancer Care and if you have any sort of worry please follow it up with your GP and if you feel unsatisfied with with any part of the diagnosis, don't be afraid to be persistent or ask for another opinion.  

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